Talking to Your Kids About Cancer: Tips and Resources for Parents
Every year, an estimated 76,000 children in the United States are impacted by a parent being newly diagnosed with incurable cancer. These families often encounter significant challenges managing both the physical and emotional impacts of the disease and its treatment on the diagnosed parent, as well as on their loved ones.
Parents often struggle with how to start conversations about cancer, what to say, when to share information, and how often to discuss it. Multicare Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital & Health Center has compiled tips and resources to help you cope together as a family during this challenging time:
Coping Together as a Family
Spending quality time with your kids is one of the most important things you can do to help them cope. Here are suggestions for activities you can do together:
Talk About Your Feelings
Help your children talk about their experiences and put names to their feelings without judgment through open and honest communication.
Enjoy Quiet Time
Do low-key activities, such as reading a favorite story or watching a favorite show together.
Be Creative
Use clay, paint, crayons, or other materials to work out frustrations that you and your children share.
Plan for Laughter
Read comics together, check out a humor book from the library, or watch a funny movie. Laughter is good medicine for everyone.
Cook a Meal Together
Planning and cooking a meal can be a fun bonding experience.
Join a Peer Support Group
Meeting other families facing similar challenges can help you and your children cope with uncertainties and fears.
Take a Day Trip
Visit the beach, explore a museum, hike a trail, or find other activities you enjoy together. Taking day trips can provide a safe way to talk about what’s happening.
Create ‘Strong Boxes’
This activity helps explore strengths and fears. Decorate a box with things that remind you of your strengths. Write down worries or fears on slips of paper and put them inside the box. Discuss these together to understand how strengths can help deal with stressors. This exercise was adapted from the book Cancer in the Family: Helping Children Cope with a Parent’s Illness.
Additional Resources:
Book Recommendations: Books can be helpful tools for children to learn about ways to explore their feelings and begin to cope.
Expressive Activities: Engage in activities, like creating a ‘Strong Box’, that help your children express their emotions in a fun, safe, and healthy way.
Coping Strategies: Practical tips for managing family life with a serious illness.
Answering Children's Questions: Guidance on how to address your child's concerns and questions about your cancer diagnosis.
Find a list of suggested books, activities, programs and more for you and your family on Multicare Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital & Health Center’s Website.
Participate in a Study to Support Your Family and Others
The Enhancing Connections-PC Study is a counseling program designed specifically for parents with advanced cancer. Offered through the University of Washington School of Nursing, this program aims to support patients and their children navigate these difficult conversations together. It's free, phone-based, and open to patients who:
Have been diagnosed with advanced cancer
Have children (ages 5 -17) living with them
Have a spouse/partner or parent surrogate who live with them at least part time
Read, write, and speak English
Have access to a telephone
For information about enrollment in this study, please contact the Enhancing Connections Research Office at 206-685-0837.
